Intentions, Comparisons, and Gingivitis

So it's January 6. Maybe you made a resolution, and maybe you didn't. Maybe you've already "failed" and maybe you're attacking this year head on. Whatever your case may be, I hope you don't let 2016 pass you by.

I was talking with my friend AJ at Jupiter House the other night. We brought up how we didn't really have New Year's Resolutions, but we did have goals for improvement this year. We also talked, rather in-depthly, about the difference between ideas and actions, as well as comparisons. The conversation is still on my mind, so I want to share a bit with you!

You know that thing that you've always wanted to do, but never have? It's like the intentions have always been there, but you've never actually been intentional about it. Last year, for me, it was losing weight. I used to always think about swimsuit season and picture myself strutting in a yellow-polka dot bikini, rather than wrapped up in a towel on the beach, sprinting to the water when I took off the towel, in fear that someone might see me. I was never intentional about wearing the bikini though. And every year, swimsuit season would come around, and I would still be hiding in the towel.

Those years passed me by. I remember seeing this motivational quote that said something like, "tomorrow you'll wish you had started today." AND IT'S SO TRUE. The only regret that I have about living a healthier lifestyle is not starting sooner.

I'm supposed to go to the dentist on Friday. I've been told for about a year that if I didn't start flossing, I'd get gingivitis which sounds kind of bad, so I think that I should try to avoid it. But alas, the dentist appointment is two days away and I have flossed all of one time since my last appointment. So I probably have gingivitis, and the dentist is going to ask that horrid question, "how often do you floss?" I'll probably lie and say once a week, but she will see right through me and my gingivitis gums. Then I will get another lecture about taking care of my teeth, and I could tell the dentist that I don't have time, but the truth is, I'm just lazy at night.

So start doing that thing you've always wanted or needed to do, or you'll wake up, and it'll be 2017 and you'll have let another year pass with what to show for it? Gingivitis and cellulite. You can't lie to the dentist, and you can't lie in a swimsuit.

Now about comparisons. It's become increasingly easier to look through someone's social media and think that they have it all together and that they're so much better than you. But another quote AJ and I talked about recently is that comparison is the thief of joy. It's so absolutely true. AJ mentioned that people really only post their highlights in life, and that's all anyone sees. It can be very discouraging to see someone succeeding or getting what you want, while you have a rough patch.

Let me tell you this. My instagram and Facebook accounts probably make me appear like a really fit college kid with awesome friends, an exciting life, and a lot of motivation to be healthy and active. Well, all of those things are true on my best days. But what I don't ever post about are the bad days. Some people know this about me, but others don't. I struggle with severe anxiety. I'm not talking about just overthinking things. I mean the kind that is debilitating--where my body will go into convulsions because it is feeling too much for me to handle. The kind that has put me in the hospital for panic attacks, passing out, and experiencing derealization. The kind that has required me to miss class or miss events because I can't get my thoughts or heart racing under control. My anxiety got so bad this past semester that I was terrified to get out of bed for a while. I was having one to two panic attacks everyday, until finally I got the courage to see a doctor. I've been on medication for 2 and a half months now, and it has made all the difference.

The point of this is, don't compare your failures and successes to others. Yes, I've lost 50 pounds, but it doesn't mean that someone who lost 10 pounds is less successful. While I was losing weight, I was having horrible anxiety that not many people knew about. So my life may have looked fun and perfect, but it wasn't. It was a trying time and a struggle that I hope no one else has to go through.

The journey to make a change is unique to everyone. Remember that putting it off will only cause regret of the lost time later on, and comparing yourself to others will steal the joy from your personal experience. We all have our own battles!