When's the Last Time I Washed These Sheets?

During the week before Thanksgiving, I realized how severe the sophomore slump really is. As I was heating up a half-pound of smoked ham in the microwave on a cool autumn evening, it hit me--I had been eating that ham for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days straight. It would be one thing if I had prepared some different side dishes to go with the ham. But I didn't. I just ate the ham by itself. 

It got worse. I was lying in bed later that night, reflecting on the sad amount of ham I had eaten for three days, when I thought about the last time I had washed my sheets. For the sake of my reputation, I will not disclose the amount of time it had been since I washed my sheets, but just know that my mother would be appalled and the general public would avoid me at all costs. I could lie and tell you that the next day, I decided to address my lack of cleanliness and wash my sheets, but I didn't. They still haven't been washed. That's how lazy sophomore students are. Or maybe it's just me...

Just when I thought things had hit rock bottom, the college station police taught me otherwise. It was a brisk Tuesday morning. Thanksgiving break was in sight, classes had been going well, and aside from my all ham diet and sleeping in my dead skin cells every night, life was as bright as the sun peering through my front windshield as a drove to work. Then, I realized the bright lights were actually red and blue police lights coming from a motorcycle cop. I pulled over, expecting the cop to soon realize he had made a mistake (since I was going 35 in a 35). He came to my window, and I greeted him, ever so politely. The stern officer asked if I knew how fast I was going, to which I happily answered, 35 mph. He said yes. But then informed me that I was in a 20 mph school zone. Now I have nothing against the men and women in law enforcement. But I do have something against elementary schools that still have their school zones up when it is 9 o'clock in the morning. Like come on, if the kids aren't there by now, they aren't coming. I was given a citation for my recklessness, and then went on my way. 

The college station police must have WANTED posters of my car because a few days later, I got a parking ticket outside of my second home: Starbucks. I'm a frequent customer at the Starbucks at NorthGate. I practically have reserved parking outside the building. I have been parking there almost every night since freshman year. Much to my dismay, when I left Starbucks on this particular night, I had a parking citation on my car. I thought surely it had been a mistake (just like the motorcycle officer pulling me over), but again, it was not. In the fine, fine, fine print on a sign that was hidden behind a massive sequoia tree, there was an indication that one could not park in that spot after 10 pm. And I had left at 10:15. I'm pretty sure they put up that sign at like 10:01. 

Alas, the semester is coming to a close. It has been full of new learning experiences for me and despite the issues with ham and cops, I've had a ton of fun. Oh school is going pretty well too. It looks like I might pull off that 4.0 after all. And all it cost me was my personal hygiene :) 

Unfortunately, eating well on the holidays is a joke. If you successfully stick to any sort of diet plan during these winter months, you are probably not human. It's been so hard to go back to eating well after the 607 types of casserole I had over Thanksgiving. And now Christmas is here....excuse me while I go hide under baggy clothes until January. Luckily, I'm still working out, so there is hope. 

Merry Christmas everybody! I'm gonna go eat some ham.