When's the Last Time I Washed These Sheets?

During the week before Thanksgiving, I realized how severe the sophomore slump really is. As I was heating up a half-pound of smoked ham in the microwave on a cool autumn evening, it hit me--I had been eating that ham for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days straight. It would be one thing if I had prepared some different side dishes to go with the ham. But I didn't. I just ate the ham by itself. 

It got worse. I was lying in bed later that night, reflecting on the sad amount of ham I had eaten for three days, when I thought about the last time I had washed my sheets. For the sake of my reputation, I will not disclose the amount of time it had been since I washed my sheets, but just know that my mother would be appalled and the general public would avoid me at all costs. I could lie and tell you that the next day, I decided to address my lack of cleanliness and wash my sheets, but I didn't. They still haven't been washed. That's how lazy sophomore students are. Or maybe it's just me...

Just when I thought things had hit rock bottom, the college station police taught me otherwise. It was a brisk Tuesday morning. Thanksgiving break was in sight, classes had been going well, and aside from my all ham diet and sleeping in my dead skin cells every night, life was as bright as the sun peering through my front windshield as a drove to work. Then, I realized the bright lights were actually red and blue police lights coming from a motorcycle cop. I pulled over, expecting the cop to soon realize he had made a mistake (since I was going 35 in a 35). He came to my window, and I greeted him, ever so politely. The stern officer asked if I knew how fast I was going, to which I happily answered, 35 mph. He said yes. But then informed me that I was in a 20 mph school zone. Now I have nothing against the men and women in law enforcement. But I do have something against elementary schools that still have their school zones up when it is 9 o'clock in the morning. Like come on, if the kids aren't there by now, they aren't coming. I was given a citation for my recklessness, and then went on my way. 

The college station police must have WANTED posters of my car because a few days later, I got a parking ticket outside of my second home: Starbucks. I'm a frequent customer at the Starbucks at NorthGate. I practically have reserved parking outside the building. I have been parking there almost every night since freshman year. Much to my dismay, when I left Starbucks on this particular night, I had a parking citation on my car. I thought surely it had been a mistake (just like the motorcycle officer pulling me over), but again, it was not. In the fine, fine, fine print on a sign that was hidden behind a massive sequoia tree, there was an indication that one could not park in that spot after 10 pm. And I had left at 10:15. I'm pretty sure they put up that sign at like 10:01. 

Alas, the semester is coming to a close. It has been full of new learning experiences for me and despite the issues with ham and cops, I've had a ton of fun. Oh school is going pretty well too. It looks like I might pull off that 4.0 after all. And all it cost me was my personal hygiene :) 

Unfortunately, eating well on the holidays is a joke. If you successfully stick to any sort of diet plan during these winter months, you are probably not human. It's been so hard to go back to eating well after the 607 types of casserole I had over Thanksgiving. And now Christmas is here....excuse me while I go hide under baggy clothes until January. Luckily, I'm still working out, so there is hope. 

Merry Christmas everybody! I'm gonna go eat some ham. 

When Life Gives You Lemons, Eat Them Because Food is Expensive

Wow, I can't believe the last time I blogged was in August... I also can't believe that I thought I had a busy freshman year. Lol. I wish I could return to the days where I had time to breathe and laugh and wait in long lines for coffee. I had no idea what sophomore year had in store.

Being a committed person is really difficult when you commit yourself to like 11 different things. You think you're on top of your life, but then you realize you have to start picking and choosing priorities. Last year, I could drop netflix and naps, but this year, there is nothing left to cut out except actual priorities like grocery shopping, eating, taking showers, and keeping in touch with friends. It's actually impossible to work 16.5 hours, take 14 hours of school, be an assistant director for a Freshman Leadership Organization, go to Crossfit, meal prep, have friends, maintain personal hygiene, clean your house, study outside of school, AND sleep. So of course the first thing to go is personal hygiene, which is the main reason I've been sporting the 2 day old ponytail far too often this semester. It's bad when your mom calls to ask if you've been flossing and your response is "mom I don't even have time to go to the store and buy the floss, much less actually use it." Really though, there are days where I wake up at 7:15, leave for work, and do not return back to my house until midnight. No one wants to floss after all of that. 

Keeping in touch with friends is another thing that has been slipping. Some days I don't answer my phone. In fact, I get so stressed sometimes that when my phone rings, I just throw it at the ground and walk away. I hope none of you take my rejection personally. I really love you all, but if I want time to shower, I can't talk on the phone. 

The next thing is the grocery store. I tried this crazy thing called budgeting. It's when you allot a certain amount of money to particular categories with the idea that you'll follow it and never go over budget. I allotted myself like $100 a month for groceries. HA. I have yet to go into the grocery store and spend less than like $80 at a time. Razor blades are freaking $20 for a package of 4. Pretty soon I will be shaving my legs with scissors. And the worst part about buying the food is then you have to cook it. Which is like another hour sucked away from the day. And then after you cook it, it runs out. Then, you have to go back to the grocery store, spend another ridiculous amount of money on things that are literally keeping you alive which takes up another hour from the week. But don't forget College Station traffic. It takes 30 minutes to get anywhere in this town of 50,000 other college students that also need to grocery shop. So there's more time you have to consider. And most of that is just sitting in traffic, which burns through gas faster than the Apollo 13. I swear College Station is responsible for global warming. 

Surprisingly, school has been going extremely well. I might be broke as a joke and smell rather rough on most days, but a 4.0 is looking like a possibility this semester. *knocks on wood*

Working at the writing center has brought me so much joy! It is awesome to enjoy showing up for your job and doing things that you're passionate about. I love my coworkers and bosses. 

Being an assistant director for MSC FISH is definitely the most rewarding aspect of sophomore year. We got our freshmen in late September, and they are perfect. I love them so much and am so excited about the trips and service projects that the year has in store!

Now, you guys might be wondering how dieting and working out have been going. Well don't worry, I haven't thrown in the towel. I've been going to CrossFit Aggieland and met some cool folks there. I started a nutrition challenge with them and participated in that for 5 weeks. I managed to lose 5 more pounds, but the goal was really just to keep toning up. I still eat mostly Paleo, but I've started to eat grains again, in moderation. It's honestly just too difficult to always meal prep. Sometimes I need an English Muffin or a tortilla for a taco. The best part is, it hasn't killed me. It feels normal to eat grains now. For a while I was scared to sway from Paleo in the least. I eat normal things every now and then too. Today I had pancakes. They were fantastic. ALSO, I'm participating in my first CrossFit competition this weekend! If I don't get last place, I'll let y'all know how I do.

I have become a huge believer in the 90% to 10% ratio. It works for pretty much everything. I eat healthy 90% of the time, but 10% of the time, I eat whatever I want because I'm done with the hard part of losing weight. There's no need to miss out on the enjoyable foods in life due to an extremely strict diet. 90% of the time, I say yes. I say yes to hanging out with people and helping people and putting others first. But 10% of the time, I say no. I take time for myself, I take a nap, or I skip a class. Taking that 10% is what keeps me going!

I really am enjoying sophomore year, despite my complaints about busy life. It has taken some adjustment, but it's part of growing up. Heck, if I can lose 45 pounds in 6 months, I can conquer this sophomore slump. 

P.S. I had to give up a shower to write this blog post. 

Shaking the Sophomore Slump

I'm not sure why everyone always says, "Wow I can't believe it's already *insert month here*." I mean we literally say that every month. It should be pretty easy to believe considering we (mostly) all have eyes and a calendar. Nonetheless, I CANNOT BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY AUGUST. Seriously, in May when I moved home after finishing up freshman year, I looked ahead at the 3 months I would be spending back in Horse Country, Texas, away from so many of my Texas A&M friends, and I thought it would surely be an eternity until I returned to College Station. But, alas, this is my final week where most of my meals are paid for and made for me, where I haven't had to worry about an on campus parking ticket, where my laundry is magically done for me, and where my sweet little puppy is always there to greet me when I walk in the front door. Oh I guess I should mention my family too. Yeah, they're here as well. Hehe, love y'all.

As much as I am looking forward to being back in college station and starting up classes again, leaving home is more bittersweet than I was expecting. I've had the pleasure of working at Texas Woman's University all summer, seeing high school friends, attending my hometown church, and recently starting CrossFit. I'll definitely miss the lovely folks that have surrounded me for these brutally hot summer months.

As far as weight loss goes, it's pretty much done! Wow, it's strange to type those words. I reached my goal weight about a month or 2 ago. At first, I wasn't really sure what to do. Do I keep trying to get thinner? Does this mean I can eat more? I was just wandering around. When you cross a finish line after such a long race, it can bring a sense of lost purpose when it ends. At first, I did try to lose more. I convinced myself that I could drop 10 more pounds, but it was soon very apparent that my body had found its equilibrium and it would be unhealthy to get much farther below that. But I didn't want to throw in the towel and gain it all back.

Then I learned that there is this awesome thing called MAINTAINING. It means the hardest part is over. So that's what I've been doing the past few weeks. I still eat Paleo about 95% of the time. I love it, really. My body rejects heavily processed foods or a lot of dairy. Seriously, I had some beef enchiladas the other night, and I thought my digestive system would never be the same. But I do enjoy having a splurge every now and then! It's fun to eat dessert some nights or to have a few bites of random things like mashed potatoes or bread. I had my first sandwich for the first time in 6 months. That was an exciting day. It's still a rarity, but I definitely love living a healthy life and still satisfying cravings every couple of weeks or so.

Now some of you may have noticed I mentioned CrossFit (gasp). Yes it's true, I am now not only part of the A&M cult, but the CrossFit cult as well. I tried to avoid it as much as I could, but Kat Hill, who has done Paleo with me these past 6 months, finally dragged me to a class about 2.5 weeks ago, and despite the blood, sweat, and tears (no exaggeration), I fell in love. I started attending regularly at Sanctum CrossFit in Prosper! It's been such an awesome new experience for me, and I have learned more than I thought possible in this short amount of time. It will be sad to say goodbye to my new friends and coaches, but I look forward to checking out CrossFit in Aggieland.

I'm also excited to be in a kinesiology running class this semester! It will be so much more entertaining than sitting in a desk taking notes. I'll be a writing consultant at the University Writing Center, as well as an Assistant Director for the Memorial Student Center Freshmen in Service and Hosting. I cannot wait to meet my freshmen and pour into their lives like my assistant directors did for me during my first year!

Thank you so much for all of your support and for reading my little blog. It's been 7 months of of weight loss but so much growth as a person. I don't feel like the same girl I was when I began college a year ago. I guess what everyone told me would happen came true! I am beyond thrilled to be a sophomore at the greatest university on Earth at 43 pounds lighter, a little bit wiser, a whole lot happier, and with hair that is 8 inches shorter.

So I guess the Freshman Fifteen didn't get the best of me after all. Let's hope I can say the same for the Sophomore Slump! Stay tuned...

Just a Little Pizza My Mind

I want to write about something a bit more serious today. This is something that has been weighing on my mind for a while. If you've read any of my previous posts, you'll know that I have been doing the Paleo diet (lifestyle) for quite some time--going on six months. In other posts I have discussed habits, priorities, working out, set backs, and a number of other topics all related to living active and healthy. What I have not discussed is the darker side of what can come with a goal to be thinner.

In January, I was 182 pounds. I was not thrilled with that number or the way my body looked, but I had a relatively great self esteem. There were days when I would change outfits 6 or more times to find something that I felt thinner in, but for the most part I felt okay about myself. To me, it was always more important to be a good person and have a nice personality than to be thin. By the end of February, I was 164 pounds. I was on top of the world at this point. In just a little over a month I had lost nearly 20 pounds from sticking to the Paleo diet and hitting the gym 5 days a week.

The next 10 pounds were much more difficult to get off. My body had adjusted to my diet, so I had to step up the intensity in the gym. I was still determined to reach my goal of 30 pounds lost by the end of the semester.

By the time I was headed home for summer, I was 150 pounds. I had dreamed of seeing that number since I was a sophomore in high school. I had reached a goal. I had defeated a huge struggle and accomplished something seemingly impossible.

Why wasn't I satisfied?

All of a sudden, 32 pounds lost felt like it wasn't enough. 140 became the new goal, and then 130, and then I noticed that I was obsessed with looking in the mirror and picking out my flaws. After that, I had thoughts of skipping meals to keep my caloric intake at less than 1200 in a day. Weighing myself once a week turned into weighing myself twice a day and fighting tears any time I gained a pound.

I was becoming addicted to losing weight and had made it my identity. And I was scared to death of gaining any weight and losing progress--scared to the point that I tracked every bite of food that I ingested.

In the past, I did not understand eating disorders, but after 6 months of losing weight, I have seen how addictions to looking a certain way can lead to eating disorders. I myself have not dealt with this to the point of calling it a disorder, but I have noticed that some of my thoughts would lean to those tendencies every now and then. And I am putting a stop to it.

There is a fine line between living a healthy lifestyle and being obsessed with outward appearance. I have been balancing on the fence between these two mindsets, and I am finally letting go of the unhealthy, negative thoughts I have put into my head in the past. Thanks to friends that constantly build me up and a God who reminds me that the state of my heart is infinitely more important than my body, I have been able to relax and enjoy life with having a scoop of ice cream every now and then (and being okay with it.) I will not let numbers on a scale have so much control of my happiness--because it will never bring true contentment.

I hope that this post can be one of encouragement to girls (or anyone) who struggles with body image. Life should not be about counting calories and picking out your not-so-toned body parts in the mirror. Take a deep breath, enjoy a slice of pizza every now and then, and remember that you are beautiful.

Just Call Me Miley Cyrus

For as long as I can remember, I have been a goal-oriented person. I am all about competition and winning and being able to claim a prize (whether there is a real prize or just the pride of knowing I won) at the end of the day. It was very black and white in my eyes. If my team's score was less than the opponent's, we lost. If my grade was an 89 instead of an A, I had failed.

I viewed my weight the same way. I have never been happy with the number on the scale. I can remember being in 3rd grade and weighing 80 pounds, knowing that most of my friends were around 60 pounds. I hated it. I remember when I first broke 100 pounds in the sixth grade, and I heard a girl complaining that she was fat because she was 75 pounds. I hated it. I have always wanted to lose weight, fit into smaller clothes, wear a two piece swimsuit...so many things that other people seemed to do so effortlessly. So when I started my journey to get fit this year, I had a number in mind: 140. I held that number out in front of me like it was a finish line I had to sprint to, and I couldn't slow down until I got there. It was all about the finish line. It was all about the number.

I weighed in at 141 pounds today. I have lost 41 pounds since I began on January 27th. I am one pound away from the number I set in my head so long ago. Back then, it seemed so far from reach. In my head, I would be happy when I reached my goal. When I got to my magic number, I would have succeeded, and then I could rest.

Today, I have reflected on the past 5 months. I have looked at my weight loss graph and remembered each step of the way: when I first started and I dropped 7 lbs. in a week, when I stalled for an entire month and thought I was incapable of any more progress, when I cheated and ate pizza over spring break, when I stopped fitting into old clothes and bought new ones, when I stopped fitting into those clothes and had to buy more new ones, when I looked in the mirror and was so proud of myself, the countless times I went to Chipotle, attempting to cook anything Paleo and then giving up and eating chicken, when I got the flu and couldn't workout for 4 days and I thought my life was over, when I began running and got up to 4 miles without stopping, when I could bicep curl 20 pounds with one arm, when I could dip my entire body weight with my triceps for the first time...There have been so many moments--so many moments along this journey that have brought me happiness, joy, and motivation to continue.

It started out as a race to get to the magic number. Today, I am 1 number away from finishing the race, but now I understand that it was never about finishing as fast as I could. In fact, there isn't a finish line after all. I haven't "won" and getting to 140 lbs. has not brought me ultimate happiness. This is just a check point. The entire journey is what has changed and molded me into a more positive, more driven, more passionate individual. Now, it doesn't have to be about the numbers any more. It is about devoting a huge part of my life to fitness and health. There are so many more check points to reach as I continue! A half marathon, a triathlon, a full marathon, a tough mudder...heck I still can't do a push up. There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna want to make it move...I guess Miley Cyrus is more poetic than we gave her credit for? But I'll get there. And I'll enjoy every minute of the journey. I was going to say the climb, but that's enough Miley for one day.

50 Thoughts You Have While Running

1. Gosh I can't wait to run today
2. Wow I'm way too tired to run today
3. I suppose I should probably run since I have that race coming up
4. This weather is fantastic, gonna get my tan on
5. I'm so glad I decided to get out and run, this is great
6. 4 miles here we go
7. Well it's a bit hotter than I anticipated
8. What am I gonna eat after this?
9. Better run faster cause the neighbors are out
10. There's that stupid wiener dog
11. Shut up before I kick you, wiener dog
12. Dang I better slow down, I'm not gonna make it at this pace
13. I hate Texas weather, I could suffocate in this humidity
14. IT'S ONLY BEEN HALF A MILE?
15. Oh shoot, this is my jam!
16. I COULD RUN FOREVER TO THIS SONG
17. I'M INVINCIBLE RIGHT NOW
18. *sings* I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE WHHOOOAHH
19. Okay maybe I'll just do 3 miles
20. Yeah don't wanna be an overachiever
21. Or 2 miles
22. No, I'm not a quitter. I'm doing 3 miles
23. Or 2.5
24. NO YOU'VE ALREADY MADE IT THIS FAR
25. This car is going awfully slow
26. I hope it isn't a kidnapper
27. Is that a dead bird?
28. No it was just a dead frog
29. Wow they need to mow their lawn
30. Have I ever mowed a lawn?
31. Okay this car is definitely a kidnapper
32. *waves to car as they pass*
33. Whew, that was a close one
34. Oh, another dead frog
35. Ugh I hate this song, why is this on my playlist?
36. I need new music
37. Yeah if I add some new music, I'll run faster tomorrow
38. I MADE IT TO 2 MILES
39. I'm gonna stop now
40. No I can't, I have to do at least 3
41. I'm so tired though
42. I'm so hungry
43. Will chipotle still be open when I finish?
44. Run faster so you can make it to chipotle after
45. I need to walk, my legs are giving out
46. Tomorrow I'll be less sore
47. Okay yeah I'm definitely stopping, it's getting too dark
48. Wait, I'm 2 miles from home, I have to run back or I'll be stranded
49. *finishes 4 miles*
50. THAT WAS GREAT AND SO EASY, I COULD'VE GONE 4 MORE LOL CAN'T WAIT TO RUN AGAIN TOMORROW

You Are What You Eat: Part 2

The best way to eat healthy is to avoid fast food and heavily processed food at all costs. Foods that come in boxes with fun pictures and advertisements like, "Fat and Sugar Free!" may seem great at first. Then check the expiration date. If it doesn't expire for the next year, it is most likely made with chemicals that your body does not digest correctly. Check the ingredients as well. High fructose corn syrup, artificial ingredients, coloring of any sort...these are the kind of things you would make crafts out of. They are not want you want to be filling your body with. A lot of people might hear that and call it liberal hippie crap, but there is a reason that obesity is linked to fast food, sodas, and junk food. IT ISN'T REAL. That's why it's more expensive to eat healthy and fresh foods. Fresh food cannot be as widely distributed because it will go bad. Next time you go to the grocery store, take a look at some of the ingredients in packaged foods. If you ask me, the extra money for real food is well worth it!

Here is day 2 of my food log blog.

Tuesday, June 2nd:

Breakfast:
-1/2 glass of coffee sweetened with Stevia (all-natural sweetener)
-4 hard-boiled egg whites

Lunch:
-16 oz. pomegranate tea
-2 scoops vanilla Herbalife meal replacement
-2 tsp. cinnamon

Afternoon Snack:
-Outshine strawberry fruit bar
-bottle of water
-2 tbsp. natural almond butter

Dinner:
-6 oz. honey-lemon roasted chicken breast
-1/2 cup steamed broccoli and carrots

Evening Snack:
-2 tbsp. natural almond butter
-32 oz. lemon tea
-4 strawberries

**These posts are to help people achieve or begin a healthy lifestyle and lose weight in a nourishing way. This was not written to completely bash processed foods-- our way of life would not be sustainable without the wide distribution of processed and genetically modified foods. However, because we live in a country that has been blessed enough to give us options, we all have the option to eat processed foods or more natural choices. Choosing the natural foods is scientifically proven to produce better health and weight loss results in people who are striving to obtain such goals.