Today I want to...no. I don't want to. I feel led to write about something entirely different than weight loss or training or anything along those lines. Today I feel led to write about sexual assault, as it is something that has been so prevalent in recent news. I don't know what your views might be about this, but I urge you to read what I have to say, as the stories I will be telling are 100% true and have not been tainted by anything in the media. I will not disclose any personal names in the stories I am about to tell for the sake of the people that these things have happened to. I'll start off nice and easy though.
Last night, June 12, 2016 at around 9:00pm, I was walking about 100 yards from Dick's Last Resort in Dallas, Texas. 100 yards. That is the length of a football field. There was no parking available any closer than this 100 yards, which isn't a far distance for a major metropolitan city. The sky still had some light in it, as my one other friend and I headed back to my car on this still evening. She and I were both wearing tank tops that revealed no cleavage and shorts that covered everything to the mid-thigh area. I chose this outfit because the weather yesterday reached the 90s, and we had spent the entire day walking through the Plano and Dallas area. Have you ever spent 12 hours walking around through DFW in the middle of June? It's hot. You dress accordingly. Now let's talk about makeup because apparently that matters too. The rain had begun around 4:00. My friend and I don't wear much makeup as it is, so most of the mascara that had been on our eyelashes that morning had washed away, leaving us in pretty much a natural state. Because of the rain, my hair had turned into a frizzy afro, so I had to put it up into a bun to avoid the 1970s look I was sporting. Okay, so back to the 100 yard walk. We turned the corner from the restaurant, and a white SUV began honking. I quickly noticed that a male was behind the wheel. He didn't say anything, but I saw the way he looked at us. His honking was not because we had done anything wrong. We were on the sidewalk, a whole lane away from where he was driving. No. His honking was a cat call. He must've thought we were attractive. Let's go back to the outfits we picked out. Did I pick my outfit because I wanted male attention? No. In fact, neither of us had spoken to a male all day besides a waiter at lunch and dinner. I picked my outfit for the weather. Back to the story. As we reached the parking area, I noticed several men all standing in different places, staring at the two of us. One tried to get our attention by saying, "hey ladies." Neither of us responded nor looked in his direction. My eyes were locked on the car and my hand gripped my keys firmly. I have been taught to have your keys ready because you don't want to be fumbling around in your purse in a city at night in a parking lot. So with my hand gripping my keys, I had the sharp end pointed out and my right elbow averted tensely so that if someone came up behind me, I would be ready to swing back in defense and then turn to threaten them with the sharp end of my keys. The friend with me stayed close by, using her peripheral vision to keep look out in every direction. Did we plan this? No. This is just common knowledge to women. This is normal. Our pace grew quicker. We reached the car. Before opening the door, I checked the backseat to make sure no one was inside waiting for us. I then jumped in and immediately locked the doors before ever turning the car on. Once the car was locked, she and I both breathed and began speaking again. We never mentioned the walk to the car because this was not a situation out of the ordinary. This is a typical trip to a car for women who go places in the evenings.
Now, nothing happened. But let's say something had happened, something terrible. It would've been taken to court. We would've been questioned about everything. Why were we out at night in Dallas without a man? Had we been drinking? Why did we pick the tank tops and shorts if we didn't want men looking at us? Did we tempt the men by wearing such revealing clothing? What type of makeup did we put on? Is eyeliner considered slutty? Why didn't we park closer to the restaurant? Do we have boyfriends? Are we sexually active? Why was my hair in a bun? Was I trying to show off my shoulders to men in a sexual manner?
Gentlemen, I must ask. When was the last time you walked 100 yards to your car at dusk and in 1 minute and 30 seconds, experienced a cat call, held your keys in your hands for defense, and checked around and inside your car for a dangerous situation? Probably doesn't happen that often, if ever.
I used to think the 1 in 5 statistic about women being sexually assaulted was nonsense. No way, I thought. It can't possibly be that many. But I've learned in the past two years of college that 3 of my closest female friends in the entire world have been sexually assaulted, and not a single one of them has ever reported it. I asked why they never told anyone who could help, and all of them had the same answer: they thought they would get in trouble. All 3 of those girls were assaulted by someone that they knew. Another one of my close friends was roofied at a club. She was never assaulted, but after realizing that she had been drugged, she told three people, and two of them blamed her for drinking in the first place.
So let me ask everyone. Are all women supposed to sit at home at night while the men go out and live freely? Are women supposed to burn all clothing that shows skin? Should we ban drinking for women? Should we require women to wear nun's dresses? Should we shame women who kiss a man but don't want anything more than that? Should we continue to question women who tell us that they have been sexually assaulted? By all means, no.
I truly believe that sexual assault awareness should be taught to high school freshmen as a part of sexual education. It is a shame that I did not know what rape and sexual assault was until I was nearly 19 years old, and if more people were aware of the parameters that these acts include, more action would be taken in regards to speaking out and granting justice. No girl, boy, man, or woman should ever be blamed for a monstrous action that someone else perpetrates, and no victim should have to be silent in fear that sexual assault was their own fault. It is time for these "gray areas" to become black areas. For wrong to be considered wrong. For men and women of every race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, and social class to be treated equally. For people's bodies to be considered their own.
